Avoiding the Freak-Out

     This is one of the most important parts about being a member of the goth subculture, learning how to avoid a freak-out. Like it or not, there are always people in the world and, more importantly, in your life, who will tend to overreact to such things, to place it simply, you probably have a friend or relative who will overreact if you suddenly start wearing black head-to-toe and listening to frightening, raw, or depressing music. This can really be annoying, trust me, I know, I have many non-goth friends. The first time I told one of my friends about me being gothic, he asked me if I "hated everything", I still get pissed thinking about it, What I hate is how much people like to talk about those stupid stereotypes that don't have a single shred of truth in them, it seems that people really don't understand what is different, you know, for the being with the most complicated brain structure in the universe, people can be strangely thick-skulled, like there's nothing going on upstairs, well, this post is help to make sure that doesn't happen TOO often, and what to do if, or I should say, when it happens.

     If you're new to the subculture and want to find your gothic self, try easing into it at first, your parents/friends/counselor/co-worker/employer/etc will react less eratically if you start small, but will probably freak out to hell and back and/or look at you as if you've lost your mind if you go home one night, dressed like a so-called "normal person", and the next morning, walk out dressed head to toe in black, a t-shirt with a band logo and a grotesque design to go with it, pins, stud bracelets, black nail polish to go with your hair, which you seem to have dyed black, whiteface, and black eyeliner three-quarters of a centimeter thick, because, believe it or not, some people are just shocked by the sight of something like that, regardless of how complicated their brain structure is, so just understand that, and you're off to a good start. Ease into it, start with dressing in a large amount of black and, if you haven't already, look into the sort of music that has been branded with the goth label (I personaly recommend some of the classics, like Bauhaus and The Cure, mixed up with some more recent artists, I, along with some of my friends, am especially fond of My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, and Evanescence). Starting small will make it easier for you to explain to someone about your new subcultural affiliation than it would if you tried explaining to them while dressed like the child of a hardcore fan of "The Crow" and that demon from "Insidious" (you weren't gonna do that, but I just like to make sure). Getting snakebite piercings, dyeing your hair, painting your nails, or any of that stuff is on you, I have absolutely no problem with any of that, just be aware that you will most likely have to deal with a freak-out, even if you are blessed, as I am, to have non-goth friends who don't freak out, and actually sometimes think its cool, when you do something gothy, I'll never forget the time I got a high-five for wearing eyeliner to class.

     This message is for both old AND new members of the goth subculture, and it is equally important for both. First: accept that you will have to face a freak-out, or at least someone overreacting to your gothiness because of the stereotypical crap that's out there. What you need to remember is that, while a lot of you get pissed off when someone backs up in fear, makes fun off you, pushes their kids behind them, or something like that, if you are mean to these people, or look at them like you want to slit their throats, you are only fueling the suspicion that goths are dramatic and hateful drama queens and have an axe to grind with everything that walks the earth. What you need to do is react calmly, you don't have to go up to every person who stares at you wide eyed and explain that goth is not a cult following and you're not going to drink their blood, but just smile and act pleasantly, if they ask you about your appearance, explain to them what attracts YOU to goth, and try not to freak them out with the whole "black mirrors my tortured soul and I listen to voices in my head" stuff, some things are better saved for conversations with like-minded people. If they make fun of you, ignore it, or respond politely, maybe with a touch of sarcasm, "No, I dress like this all the time, you should see me on Halloween". However, you will still have to accept the fact that not everyone will understand, but don't let it get to you, remember what I said in my first post, don't take crap from anyone, and that includes people who look at you with fear in their eyes. In a perfect world, people wouldn't care about the appearance of others, but would define others by what they do and who they really are. I had a teacher this past year, a very wise man, who told the class a story, he was in a subway, in London; I think, and the subway stopped, and in walked these two punk rockers, piercings and everything, afterwards, a lady walked in, and her arms were full, then she drops some of her things, and the first two people to help her pick up her possessions were the punks, now I know that punks and goths are not the same, but this is just an example of how what's on the outside doesn't really matter as much as who someone is on the inside, keep thet in mind and you'll do fine. I have to go now, my dog just told me to get off my soap box, see ya.

-Signed
The Darker Son